Helping you find true love

I travelled this week to and from Nashville, Tennessee for the National Religious Broadcasters conference. I made the mistake of leaving on the trip without taking a book to read along the way (note: this is a VERY BAD idea), and so last night found myself reading American Airlines' in-flight magazine, American Way, while listening at high-decibel levels to Chevelle, Hyper Static Union and others on my iPod.

An interesting thing I noticed in this month's issue was at least three ads for "discreet" services that help "professional" gentlemen (and/or ladies) find qualified prospective dates. "Never fly solo again!" was the headline on one ad, which promised that, "We assist affluent men in finding serious, committed relationships with 8's, 9's and 10's." Seven-and-a-halfs need not apply. Another ad touted "personalized selection and date coordination." They even make restaurant reservations for your first date!

Yet a third says their company serves eligible bachelors as "their very own personal recruiter, solely focused on introducing them to the love of their life."

Here's what's funny about these ads: they are illustrated with pictures of people who clearly will NOT have trouble finding dates. We see well-dressed, handsome, successful-looking men wearing thousand-dollar suits and million-dollar smiles; we see women with the hair, cheekbones and pearly whites of professional models. These ladies aren't having a difficult time finding interested guys…unless perhaps they spend too much time on airplanes, reading in-flight magazines.

What I want to see is the 400-pound 45-year-old who still lives with his mother, the guy who hasn't talked to a girl since he asked out the prettiest girl in school when he was a pimply high-school freshman and she laughed in his face. That is the guy who needs his very own personal recruiter! If these companies can set that guy up with a commitment-minded 8, 9 or 10, then his money would be well spent! Imagine the flocking of customers when they see our 45-year-old friend, pictured next to his super-model bride, her eyes full of love as she looks at him! "Without this company, I never would have met my true love, Barbie!" The phone calls would blow up their switchboard! The web traffic would fry their servers!

But that ad's never going to be run.

Seeing the ads they did run made me wonder how many "affluent men" are lonely because of the time they spend on airplanes, away from home, family and prospective girlfriends. These companies know their market, and it's no accident that I see their ads at 35,000 feet. At some point, "serious, committed relationships" like those promised by these ads require serious, committed time together. Not time in an airport restaurant between flights, but day-in and day-out, I'm-here-for-you time. The kind of time that lets you see and know another person at their best, and at their worst. Paying a dating service might get you in the same place at the same time as that special someone—they might even have made the restaurant arrangements—but to build a loving, lasting relationship will take time.

Happily, I stopped "flying solo" almost 16 years ago, but these ads offer a reminder to those of us who have found true love, as well as to those still looking: Strong, committed, lasting love doesn't happen by accident, and it doesn't happen without T-I-M-E.